vegan meatloaf recipes best image
cmasvt
I was there recently and this dish was outstanding. Also they offered a vegan gravy to go with it. That recipe would be appreciated as well.
Answer
Try this site:
http://vegweb.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=8e29a428a66dda3115f2380e952130e8&action=search2
Try this site:
http://vegweb.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=8e29a428a66dda3115f2380e952130e8&action=search2
What should I do when inlaws have taboo conversations?
Lolagirl
Every time we have a family dinner it's the same conversations. MIL always starts these debates that we all clearly have different opinions about.
Examples:
my fiancé is vegan and I rarely eat meat or animal products and his family doesn't agree with it. They always try to make us eat meat at dinner and ask us why we have those diets and when we try to explain our reasons they won't hear it and make us feel like we are bad for not eating meat.
Then the dreaded CANCER conversation. They always bring it up. It has been proven that eating lots of fast food and junk food is linked to cancer and other diseases. They always put me on the spot and when I reply they shut me up and basically say all those facts are bogus and getting a disease is like Russian roulette you can get it no matter what you eat or what kind of lifestyle you have.
Politics, faith and religion..it's really just table manners and I don't think anyone should ever talk about those topics while having family dinners! But like usual each person has their personal views and things always get heated with everyone because its MIL favorite topic of conversation.
His family thinks they know everything and try to debunk everything and think their opinions are the only correct way of thinking. I hate going to dinners because they always push me into the conversations. We always just leave right after eating because we don't want to deal with it. They never have any facts to back up what they are trying to prove, but they always think they are right and know everything.
Mermaids and aliens..wtf?? MIL and BIL always argue about their existence. Mermaids! Are you kidding me?? MIL thinks they are real. That's fine with me but BIL thinks she's nuts and they always argue about it. Then they try to drag me and my fiancé into it. MIL ends up upset.
It's always MIL who starts it all. When I tried to explain that I feel uncomfortable with certain topics, they basically say I am too sensitive and family debates are good to have. Please help be we don't want to cut them off but my fiancé and I are sick if it. When he tries to talk to them about not having these conversations anymore then another argument comes up because they are just kind of closed minded and don't care about anyone else's opinions. Are we handling this wrong?
I usually sit there quietly! And I'm not a vegan, I just don't really like meat. What's so wrong with that?
My fiancé does take my side. He doesn't want to go to family dinners any more. Especially because the try to tell us how to raise our child..
Answer
LOL Are you living my life?! Seriously...this is what happens in my family as well, only it's my mother who always trying to get my husband into conversations or debates that she knows will get him going. It can be a big problem, and for a long time, my husband didn't even want to go over to my parents house because it was always a big, stressful situation or confrontation.
So, my husband and I started therapy about a year ago, and this is one of the issues that we have been working on. Our therapist has given us some great advice, and I am happy to say that after employing the suggestions and practices that she has given to us, we enjoy lots of nice dinners with my parents now.
First things first...because they are my parents, it is MY job to be my husband's advocate. My loyalties must be with my husband at all times. This was tough for me, because I am an only child and very close to my parents, but I realized that my husband is really my immediate family now, and my parents are secondary to my marriage, so I cannot allow them to do things that will purposely drive a wedge into my marriage. I had a sit down talk with my parents, explaining the situation, how it makes me feel and how it makes my husband feel, and as afraid as I was to have the conversation, in the end, it went very well, because my parents love me enough to realize that they were hurting me by creating turmoil with my husband.
Secondly, my husband had to practice not getting roped into these debates and conversations. This was tough for him, but he learned to either be quiet or to change the subject in a really slick way...the therapist helped him with that. The trick is when these debates first start, you have to diffuse them by turning the attention to something else, like asking your mother in law where she got the recipe for the fabulous meatloaf you just ate, or if she has any advice on what you can do to keep your house a little cleaner...things that will work to her own feelings of greatness and make her feel as though she has something to teach that you want to learn. If she attempts to avoid this type of distraction, then you just have to be as agreeable as possible, because she is looking for a fight...you have to say things like "you know, I can understand your point" or "you have a really good arguement, there"...this will diffuse the situation because people like this thrive and feed off of the dramatic confrontation, and if you don't allow the confrontation to happen, then they will get bored and move on.
Lastly, if none of this works, then it will be your husband's job to stand up for you and sit down with his family and let them know that you will not be spending as much time together unless they can "behave". When he comes out on your side and basically says that if things don't change you guys won't be around, then it's likely his parents/family will rethink thier behaviour.
On a final note, I would suggest that maybe you and your husband see a therapist that can help you with this. I only say this because a good family/couples therapist will have more in depth suggestions for you that will help a lot more than what I can give to you in this short space. You'll be amazed at what you can learn from a good therapist, and if you don't get these things under control now, then it will only get worse and start to harm your marriage. Good luck!!!
LOL Are you living my life?! Seriously...this is what happens in my family as well, only it's my mother who always trying to get my husband into conversations or debates that she knows will get him going. It can be a big problem, and for a long time, my husband didn't even want to go over to my parents house because it was always a big, stressful situation or confrontation.
So, my husband and I started therapy about a year ago, and this is one of the issues that we have been working on. Our therapist has given us some great advice, and I am happy to say that after employing the suggestions and practices that she has given to us, we enjoy lots of nice dinners with my parents now.
First things first...because they are my parents, it is MY job to be my husband's advocate. My loyalties must be with my husband at all times. This was tough for me, because I am an only child and very close to my parents, but I realized that my husband is really my immediate family now, and my parents are secondary to my marriage, so I cannot allow them to do things that will purposely drive a wedge into my marriage. I had a sit down talk with my parents, explaining the situation, how it makes me feel and how it makes my husband feel, and as afraid as I was to have the conversation, in the end, it went very well, because my parents love me enough to realize that they were hurting me by creating turmoil with my husband.
Secondly, my husband had to practice not getting roped into these debates and conversations. This was tough for him, but he learned to either be quiet or to change the subject in a really slick way...the therapist helped him with that. The trick is when these debates first start, you have to diffuse them by turning the attention to something else, like asking your mother in law where she got the recipe for the fabulous meatloaf you just ate, or if she has any advice on what you can do to keep your house a little cleaner...things that will work to her own feelings of greatness and make her feel as though she has something to teach that you want to learn. If she attempts to avoid this type of distraction, then you just have to be as agreeable as possible, because she is looking for a fight...you have to say things like "you know, I can understand your point" or "you have a really good arguement, there"...this will diffuse the situation because people like this thrive and feed off of the dramatic confrontation, and if you don't allow the confrontation to happen, then they will get bored and move on.
Lastly, if none of this works, then it will be your husband's job to stand up for you and sit down with his family and let them know that you will not be spending as much time together unless they can "behave". When he comes out on your side and basically says that if things don't change you guys won't be around, then it's likely his parents/family will rethink thier behaviour.
On a final note, I would suggest that maybe you and your husband see a therapist that can help you with this. I only say this because a good family/couples therapist will have more in depth suggestions for you that will help a lot more than what I can give to you in this short space. You'll be amazed at what you can learn from a good therapist, and if you don't get these things under control now, then it will only get worse and start to harm your marriage. Good luck!!!
Powered by Yahoo! Answers
No comments:
Post a Comment